Am I kidding myself?

Pool reflectionsI’m going through one of those horror stretches where I can barely convince myself I can do this. Eh? What? Write. Write a story people find entertaining, that keeps ’em turning the page. Serious navel-gazing, staring into my own soul and seeing only ripples.

I know. Some of you are saying what about that Die a Dry Death thing? It’s published and everything and even people I don’t know at all said nice things. But I dunno. It just isn’t enough. I’m trying to re-write a book so it works better for the target audience I’ve decided it is written for. And although I know the broad plan, I’m finding the details difficult. My writer friends will know what I mean. OK, so in the story they go and get some stuff from planet Y. But in my original, she went by herself and you didn’t see the end result of ‘stuff’ until the end of book 1 and I don’t really want to blurt all of that right here. But why wouldn’t she? He’s with her this trip. <sighs>

And sometimes I wonder if I should be doing this bloody re-write at all. Sometimes I wonder if I should chuck the whole thing and start on that ‘other’ book. I know who the MC is and I know where the first scene will be and how the story unfolds and how it ends… And sometimes I wonder if I should chuck the whole bloody business and go into… something else? And yet I really want to finish this book, make it something I’m proud of, before I start on the Next Big Thing. This one’s part of my history, I suppose and I do think it’s worthwile.

Maybe I should remember the story of the little engine on the hill. I think I can… I Think I can… I think I can. The hill’s just up there, just ahead. I know it is. MaybeI should just go and do these again. Defeat your Inner Critic Part 1 and Defeat your Inner Critic Part 2

I AM good enough. I WILL get there. The road is littered with the desiccated corpses of those who give up.


About Greta van der Rol

I'm an author of fast-paced, action-adventure novels, mainly space opera - although I've been known to write in other genres. I live not far from the coast in Queensland, Australia and enjoy photography and cooking when I'm not bent over the computer. I have a degree in history and a background in building information systems, both of which go a long way toward helping me in my writing endeavours.

Posted on 14 October 2010, in On writing and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. As you know, Greta, I am going through something similar. Nathan Bransford calls it the ‘Am I crazies?’ And we are I think. But in a good way! I can barely drag myself to look at my ms at the moment, and yet deep down inside I know it’s worth developing, just as you know that with your book. We’ll persevere together, shall we?

  2. Excuse me, may I join the club? I have four shorties in the works and two synopses brewing, and yet, every time I try to get ahead with any of them, I hear the dull clonk of my head hitting a steel I-beam. No prob, I’ve been there before, done that, hit the beam, but not knowing when the beam will bend before my forehead is a drag. I’d so much like to be able to say, the four stories will be done on November 4. No such luck.

  3. Hi, guys. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. And I can tell both of you – you’re fine.

    • The good news is, I can tell you the same, Greta. Good luck, that journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, only thing is there’s a few more steps after that too! But you can do it.

  4. Hang in there! We all go through this. I even blogged about it lately myself – I call it “the voice we must not listen to” – the one that tells you that you can’t and shouldn’t even bother to keep trying. Don’t listen! Keep working your way through the book you were meant to write and revise, and then move on to the next one. Hang tough, we’re all here with you in spirit.

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