Am I kidding myself?
I’m going through one of those horror stretches where I can barely convince myself I can do this. Eh? What? Write. Write a story people find entertaining, that keeps ’em turning the page. Serious navel-gazing, staring into my own soul and seeing only ripples.
I know. Some of you are saying what about that Die a Dry Death thing? It’s published and everything and even people I don’t know at all said nice things. But I dunno. It just isn’t enough. I’m trying to re-write a book so it works better for the target audience I’ve decided it is written for. And although I know the broad plan, I’m finding the details difficult. My writer friends will know what I mean. OK, so in the story they go and get some stuff from planet Y. But in my original, she went by herself and you didn’t see the end result of ‘stuff’ until the end of book 1 and I don’t really want to blurt all of that right here. But why wouldn’t she? He’s with her this trip. <sighs>
And sometimes I wonder if I should be doing this bloody re-write at all. Sometimes I wonder if I should chuck the whole thing and start on that ‘other’ book. I know who the MC is and I know where the first scene will be and how the story unfolds and how it ends… And sometimes I wonder if I should chuck the whole bloody business and go into… something else? And yet I really want to finish this book, make it something I’m proud of, before I start on the Next Big Thing. This one’s part of my history, I suppose and I do think it’s worthwile.
Maybe I should remember the story of the little engine on the hill. I think I can… I Think I can… I think I can. The hill’s just up there, just ahead. I know it is. MaybeI should just go and do these again. Defeat your Inner Critic Part 1 and Defeat your Inner Critic Part 2
I AM good enough. I WILL get there. The road is littered with the desiccated corpses of those who give up.